I don't know if I know that I want to know.

     Curiosity killed the cat- it is then no wonder that curiosity is giving me heartache.  All I want is to know, but when one is searching for truth there is always the inevitable chance that you will not find what it is that you were looking for- which in turn leads to disappointment and the tiring search for yet more answers that you may never find out. But, to think, would my questions do more harm than help in my defense? It is my personality and true self to ask questions and want to know, so if I did not act upon that would I not be my true self? Or should I hold back for fear of seeming overbearing? I think, then I over think, which in turn leads to me doubting myself and searching for conformation of my insecurities.  Then what if I ask questions and don't get the answers that I was hoping for? What if the answers end up hurting me more than the lack of the knowledge? I suppose those are simply risks that one must be willing to take.  It's a dangerous game- wanting to know everything.